Akatsuki Vacation, Gone Wrong
by Crimson Cupcake
Summary: -COMPLETE- Who doesn't love the awesome criminals of Akatsuki? Starring Nemo! A butterfly statue! Sasuke with allergies! And...the Two Green Guys! What else could you want in an Akatsuki trip around the world? I mean...on a deserted island?
1. It begins!

Hello everyone If there's anything wrong here please tell me. Please enjoy!

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki or anything else in here that is copyrighted. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, whom I am not, sadly. I also do not own the phrase 'Art is a bang.' It belongs to-_

_Deidara: It belongs to me un!_

_No Deidara, it does not belong to you either. It belongs to Taro Okamoto-san._

Also, I have replaced Hidan's swear words with random sweet food, such as lollipop...the food are underlined

Now, let the story begin!

--

"What sort of lollipop vacation is this?" Hidan growled, staring through the window at the stormy clouds. The sea tossed and turned, foaming under them as the ship swayed treacherously. It looked like a storm was likely to break at any moment as the thunder roared overhead and lightning flashed.

Kakuzu, holding a handful of money, had to agree with his partner for the first time in living memory. "Yeah, it's such a waste of time," he muttered, before returning his attention to worthier things, such as counting money.

"That lollipop Kisame. Why did he have to drag us out here?" Hidan cursed, stroking his scythe.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes as Hidan interrupted his money counting. "Hidan, will you shut up already? Kisame didn't waste any money and I'm not complaining!"

This time it was Hidan's turn to roll his eyes. "Oh, and now you trust the lollipop candy?" he snarled. "How do we know he didn't use any money?"

Kakuzu looked up in horror. He hadn't thought of that. "Wait…" he said slowly, trying to get it straight. "You mean Kisame could have lied and spent money anyway?" His eyes widened as if he had just seen Sasuke hugging Itachi.

"Kisame wouldn't do that," interrupted a pleasant, yet surprising voice. Konan had overheard their conversation and decided to drop in before Kakuzu and Hidan bit Kisame's head off.

"How do you know what the lollipop wouldn't do?" Hidan seethed with rage. What he wouldn't do to Kisame when he found him…

"Because he said so." Another quiet voice had slipped into the conversation, defending Konan and Kisame. The voice belonged to no other than _the _Akasuna no Sasori.

Hidan let out a stream of colourful words, seeing as nobody would take his side. Sasori, however, had also gone back to doing what he considered 'most important'. Right now, what was 'most important' to him was arguing with a certain blonde.

"When will you understand, Sasori no Danna, art is fleeting un!" yelled our favourite Deidara, frustrated that Sasori still disagreed with his point of view. It didn't occur to him that they had had this argument the seventy-eighth time this week.

"Art is _not _fleeting, Deidara. It. Is. Eternal!" Sasori, too, was feeling his patience slip away as he tried to knock the information through his partner's thick skull.

"Danna! You don't understand art at all un! It is…"

At that precise moment, everyone currently in the room dropped their attention from the arguing pair.

"How exactly did Kisame persuade us to come again?" Kakuzu asked carefully, still on the topic of whether or not Kisame was lying to them.

_Flashback_

"_Hey guys!" Kisame slammed the door open, dashing into the living room of the Akatsuki base where the most feared S ranked criminals lived. "Guess what?"_

"_What?" asked Sasori dejectedly, trying to fix his puppet Hiruko after that pink haired girl and his grandmother smashed it to pieces_

"_I got us tickets!" Kisame yelled joyfully, brandishing the so called tickets in the air above his head, as far as his hand would reach up to._

_Itachi resisted rolling his eyes. After all, Uchiha prodigies don't roll their eyes at their partner's statement. Instead, he said with the air of dignity only an Uchiha should have, "Not Seaworld again, Kisame. We went there five times last year, remember?_

_Kisame shook his head, apparently blazing with excitement. "No no, Itachi-san, this time I got us tickets for a vacation! On a cruise trip!" He was obviously very pleased with himself. _

_Kakuzu looked up suspiciously. "And how much money did they cost exactly?"_

_Kisame grinned. Not your usual grin. A wide, sharky grin. "None at all, 'your majesty'," he said, with a hint of sarcasm at 'your majesty'. I found them on the streets! They were giving it away! For free! Look, I got one for each of us!"_

_Halfway through making one of his many clay statues, Deidara looked up from his handiwork. "Woot!" he shouted, throwing his carefully made statues in the air, before catching them gently when he realized the full impact of Kisame's words. "Where are we going exactly, un?"_

_Kisame shrugged. "Who cares? It's a cruise trip! Let's go Leader!"_

_Pein, the Leader of Akatsuki, slapped his hand onto his head. He remembered what happened last time they went on one of Kisame's trips…_

_End Flashback_

"What happened before that?" asked Kakuzu warily. Apparantly, old age was catching up to him.

Konan sighed, shaking her head and looking somewhat horrified. "Please, no more flashbacks!"

--

There goes chapter one! I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are much appreciated, and please tell me if I had made a mistake or something. I'll update as soon as I can.

Next time: Deidara dies??

Thank you, and have a nice day

Art is a bang XD


	2. Swimming?

Hello, I'm back and ready for chapter two. I know, I update quick...right?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto, the Akatsuki, The phrase 'Art is a bang' or Finding Nemo

**Note: **Hidan's words are going to be replaced with random food, also underlined

**Warning: **Quite a bit of crack and generally weirdness

I should shut up and let you enjoy yourselves XP

--

They had been travelling for days now. The Akatsuki members found themselves easily swaying to the motion of the ship and the deck. It was relaxing, and no different than the day to day life goings at the Hideout. Well...maybe slightly different. Itachi, for one, had to rush over to the railings and throw up every few minutes on the first day or so. But gradually, he, along with everyone else, got used to the cruise.

"I told you it was a good idea!" Kisame was saying to Sasori under the deck of the ship.

Sasori stared back with his usual emotionless face. "Yes. It would have been a great idea if _it weren't raining like hell outside!" _he snapped. The puppet master was in a bad mood, but then again, he was almost always in a bad mood. He hadn't been allowed to take any of his beloved puppets with him on this journey. Not even Hiruko! Imagine Sasori's anger when he found out. And sure enough, rain poured down in thousands of kilolitres outside, smashing into the deck with the sound of splintering wood. Sasori winced at every sound, as they reminded him even more of his puppets.

Kisame half-heartedly shrugged, and was about to open his mouth to reply until they were interrupted by a certain green plant thingy.

"Is there any food left?" Zetsu grumbled, waddling into the room. Without any enemy humans to eat, he had to continually starve for the two weeks. And like Sasori, he wasn't very happy about that.

"Erm..." Kisame looked guiltily towards the fridge, with had mercifully been placed on board. "I think Itachi ate the last of our dango..."

"That wasn't what I was talking about. Don't we have any more fresh corpses?" Zetsu's black side growled.

Now Kisame looked uncomfortable, and under the very likely assumption that, if Zetsu went hungry, the first one he would choose on the menu was the shark. "Well, they stank so bad we didn't bring any," he explained carefully.

"I didn't smell anything," Sasori contradicted, looking back and forth between the two.

"Yeah, that's 'cause you're a puppet Danna un." Unnoticed by any of them, Deidara had snuck in as well, along with Hidan and Kakuzu, all wearing trunks.

"We're going swimming," Kakuzu explained at the raised eyebrows. "Leader didn't want to come because he had 'work' to do, and Konan's afraid of water."

"And the cookie candies forced me to come," Hidan cut in.

"We're not-" Deidara began angrily, but Kakuzu shut him up.

"Ignore that git...let's get going.

"I'm going too!" Kisame yelled, changing from the Akatsuki uniform to trunks within seconds.

Deidara looked questioningly at his Danna.

Sasori shook his head, seeing Deidara's unasked question, meaning automatic no.

"Aww...come on Danna, it's fun swimming un!"

Sasori's eyes momentarily flashed with anger. "I'm a puppet brat, did you forget?"

"Oh yeah un..."

"Let's go already!" Kisame half screamed half yelled. He seemed to be the one most eager to go out of the group.

"Going where?" Came a familiar calm voice below them.

"Oh great, another cookie interruption," Hidan muttered.

Kisame looked like he was going to faint. "I...Itachi-san...we...we're just g...going swi...swimming." All of a sudden, he sounded like Hinata.

Itachi, however, didn't notice. Or maybe he did notice, but just didn't comment on it. "Whatever. Just go." ((A/N: I just had to add Itachi in there ))

Gratefully, Kisame, Deidara, Hidan and Kakuzu made their way outside, in the blinding rain and flashing lightning and booming thunder and who knows what else?

"I suddenly don't feel like swimming any more, un," Deidara said fearfully, staring into the foaming waters seething with rage, even more than Kakuzu when Hidan stole his money and they ran around the base chasing and hiding from each other.

"Aww, come on Dei," Kisame patted him on the shoulder. "Like you said, it'll be fun!"

The force of the 'pat', as Kisame called it, sent Deidara flying headfirst into the water. He didn't resurface for several seconds, which turned to minutes.

"Erm...should someone go check on him?" Kakuzu asked, allowing the slightest trace of worry entering his voice. He didn't care much about that kid, but he knew they would probably have to pay money if he drowned.

"Why go check on that ice-cream?" Hidan asked, rolling his eyes.

But Kisame seemed to have accepted Kakuzu's idea quite cheerfully. "Okay, I'll go!" he said brightly, diving in professionally. He didn't resurface for several minutes either.

"Should we go help _him?" _Kakuzu asked again, this time to Hidan.

"No way cookie!" Hidan roared. "I'm not risking my life for those two lollipops!"

"You don't die," Kakuzu pointed out.

"Oh yeah..."

Meanwhile, Kisame had felt the cool water contact his skin, and immediately entered heaven. This underwater world was where his mother lived. How he wished he did the same...Suddenly, he remembered his real mission. Rescuing Deidara. His eyes scanned the seabed, before spotting the blonde lying on some rocks, looking very lifeless indeed. Fish had already swam up to him and were probably considering eating him.

"Is it dead?" One fish, by the name of Nemo, asked cautiously.

"Is what dead? I don't see- AHHHHHH SHARK!!" A blue finned fish, Dory, yelled. The fish scattered immediately as Kisame swam by.

"I'm not a shark you fidiots!! ((A/N: Fish + Idiots Fidiots )) Kisame yelled at them. "I'm just here to rescue my fellow Akatsuki member," he added, grabbing Deidara and making his way up.

"What's an...Aca...suli?" asked Nemo.

"None of your business!" Kisame bellowed, resurfacing and waving to Hidan and Kakuzu, with a now unconscious Deidara in his arms.

...The 15 minutes where the two haul the other two onto the deck...

"Oh good, they survived," Kakuzu said, unconsciously running a hand through his hair.

"Pfft," Hidan was tempted to roll his eyes again. "Deidara looks candy dead to me."

Kakuzu rubbed his eyes and peered at Deidara's face closer. "Oh no! He's dead! Now we'll have to pay for his funeral!" he yelled to the sky.

"Oops..."

--

There's chapter 2 done everyone Hope you enjoyed it! If you're wondering, yes this does have an actual plot and yes it is going somewhere; I realize I haven't added Pein, Tobi or Itachi in a lot, but Tobi appears in the next chapter and I can promise the other two will appear soon! XD I don't really like leaving people at a cliffhanger, but I assure you its necessary

I'll update as soon as I can. Once again, please review! Thanks and have a nice day

Art is a bang XD


	3. Shipwrecked

Yes, I'm back for chapter 3...but this time I actually feel bothered to say the disclaimer

**Disclaimer: **I/Art is a bang XD do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki or the phrase Art is a bang! The first two are property of Masashi Kishimoto and the last belongs to Taro Okamato.

**Warning: **Crackish! I try and make it funny, but I'm not exactly sure if it is or not ...oh, and very angry Alatsuki members, very angry indeed...Did I mention cruelty to boats? I know, I should be in jail for that...but I'm not so deal with it XD

**Note: **Please do not forget Hidan's swear words are still 'sugarlized', meaning the words are replaced with sweet stuff Why? Because I like sweet stuff...P.S. I have also underlined them to reduce confusion

--

Kakuzu rubbed his eyes and peered at Deidara's face closer. "Oh no! He's dead! Now we'll have to pay for his funeral!" he yelled to the sky.

"Oops..."

Hidan rolled his eyes at Kakuzu, then shifted them to the blonde member of their organization. He had never really had much to do with Deidara, but they were part of the same group right?

Kisame was poking the deck of the ship as it swayed gently from side to side, the rain falling harder than ever. For some reason, he couldn't make himself look at Deidara's face.

Kakuzu, the only one staring full on at Deidara and still wondering how much his funeral would cost, was the only one who thought something was...well...different.

Suddenly, a cackle of mad laughter broke the once serene silence. The three looked from each other, to the ship, then back to each other. Nope. Nobody they knew of was laughing. Unless...

Have a guess! The laughter was coming from none other than...

Deidara!

The supposedly 'dead' blonde was now sitting up, splitting his sides with the weirdest, loudest, did I mention weird? laugh anyone could have ever laughed. Actually, it was more like a cackle. Unfortunately for him, the other three didn't find the situation quite as funny.

"WHAT THE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD YOU CANDY CANE LOLLIPOP!"

Deidara controlled himself just enough not to laugh for the few seconds while he answered Hidan's outburst. "You...should...have...seen the...look...on...your...faces!" He gasped in between spasms of laughter. "I could have put it on Deviantart un!"

"So...you're not dead?" Kisame asked bewildered, peering at the blonde closely as if missing something. Suddenly, he hated himself for feeling guilty.

Before he could answer, a certain orange masked man ran onto the deck at just about 220 km/h. The 'certain orange masked man' tackled Deidara, sending both of them spinning into the ocean for the second time.

"What the _hell _Tobi un?" Deidara shrieked, like Gaara when he had his teddy bear torn away (A/N: Not sure if that happened ), just before he plummeted into the ocean.

"Tobi is a good boy! Tobi bet five dollars with Zetsu-san that Sempai was alive!" Tobi yelled joyfully before his head sank under.

"WHAT?" came a yell from the ship deck. Apparently, Kakuzu had overheard that. "Tobi, if you're a good boy, give that 5 dollars to me!" he added, eyes sparkling at the thought of _free _money. Yes. The free part was very important.

"Yes Kakuzu-san, because Tobi is a good boy," Tobi smiled brightly, still clinging onto his beloved Sempai.

"Help...can't...breathe!" Deidara gasped as the two floated further from the boat.

"We're not falling for it this time you chocolate cookie!" Roared Hidan.

"Damn un..."

As sudden as it came, the ship all the Akatsuki members had been previously standing on came to an abrupt halt. Then, slowly but surely, the ship began to sink...inch by inch into the deep dark sharky depths.

Silence.

"WHAT THE SUGAR CAKES?" Hidan screeched. He had wasted precious moments making sense of what was happening.

Kakuzu had the sense to look around and see what they had hit. Sure enough...

"ICE-BURG!!"

"ICE-BURG UN!!"

Tobi and Deidara had spotted it from their position in the water. "Jump un!" Deidara yelled encouragingly.

"No way!" Kakuzu snapped immediately. "I need to rescue my precious money!" With that, he vanished back into the ship.

Kisame, however, found the invitation to jump into the beloved depth quite promising. "Bombs away!" he yelled, catapulting himself into the water and post likely doing a bellyflop.

At exactly the same time, Itachi, Zetsu, Sasori, Konan and Pein, the members who hadn't come swimming, rushed out on deck.

"What happened?" Itachi asked, apparently not wearing contacts.

"The ship hit an ice-burg and started sinking," said Sasori matter-of-factly, and very bluntly.

"What do we do?" Konan posed the question they were all thinking. It surprised everyone else that they could think of the situation so calmly.

"RUN!" Kakuzu suddenly burst out from the ship, carrying three suitcases of his money. "It's going to sink any moment!"

Without hesitation, the remaining members all jumped, except Konan had jumped onto a paper bird instead.

Kakuzu, Hidan, Pein, Zetsu, Sasori and Itachi hit the water with a SPLAT! Well...Sasori hit the water with a CLUNK, but that's off the point.

"Wish I'd thought of that un," said Deidara wistfully, looking up at Konan.

"There's still time, idiot," Sasori commented, slightly amused, as everyone else watched the ship sink before their eyes.

"Oh yeah un." Acting quickly, Deidara made a clay bird, and in no time, was in the air.

"Damn...wish he took me with him..." Hidan grumbled.

"Moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney," Kakuzu looked like a lunatic.

"Hey guys!" Konan yelled from above. "I think I see an island!"

Deidara used his scope to zoom in on the thing Konan was pointing at. "Yeah, it is an island un! But it seems to be deserted..."

"Who cares?" Pein hollered joyfully. "It's land! Let's go!"

And together, they made their way towards the island as the sun shone behind them.

(A/N: coughs loudly That's not exactly what happened...)

Well, for one, Deidara, Konan and Kisame were all trying to race to the island; two flying and one swimming. So far, Deidara was winning. You had to take in account all the rain and that Kisame stopped to chat to fish.

Kakuzu was being dragged down by his money suitcases, and there didn't seem to be any chance of him letting them go.

Pein was hoarding all of his bodies forward, and they worked together to create some sort of human bridge where two bodies would lie flat on the water and the others step over them, then repeat the process.

Tobi was dog-paddling after Deidara, but he didn't seem to be getting anywhere either, since Hidan was kind of using him as a log to float on.

Zetsu was flailing around in the water, looking like he was doing some kind of dance where you made up half the moves on the spot.

Sasori was lying on his back, floating like any puppet should and looking up at the clouds. If someone took a picture of him right now and removed the face, hair and clothing, they could easily mistake him for Shikamaru. But then again, think on Sasori's behalf. He was a puppet, after all, what else could he do?

And Itachi? Itachi had probably been the most sensible out of all. He was using his Chakra to stand on the water, but...was walking in the complete wrong direction that Konan had pointed. He _was _legally blind.

--

That's all for chapter 3 ; I thought it was a good place to end, so I did

I'm not sure I'll be able to update so often after this, but I'll still try XD

Well, please review, or at least show some sign you're read it Please? It's kind of depressing if its possible nobody's reading it ;

Art is a bang XD


	4. Stuck on an island

Hello again Its chapter four already ; I tend to update once a day huh? Oh well, here goes

**Disclaimers: **I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki or the phrase 'Art is a bang'. The first two belong to Masashi Kishimoto and the last blongs to Taro Okamoto

**Warning: **Crack! I reckon I've got more crack in here than in the other chapters

**Note: **Hidan's swear words will be replaced by sugar stuff which will be underlined...and Zetsu's dark side will be in bold

--

It took several hours for everyone to haul themselves onto the island. Deidara, Kisame and Konan's race had finally finished, and they passed the finish line, AKA landed on the island in that order.

Tobi and Hidan got there eventually, while having to drag Sasori who just floated around with a dazed expression on his face. Probably from shock.

Pein had to go back and direct Itachi towards the correct direction, pull the flailing Zetsu out of the water and lift all of Kakuzu's money suitcases for him. Why? Because nobody else wanted to do it.

"Well, we're all here, the storm had gone, and we should be fine!" Pein said, brushing sand off his precious Akatsuki robe and trying to make the best of the situation.

"Fine lolly nothing," Hidan grumbled. "We're stuck on the candy island with no cookie food and no cake way away from here."

Sasori, Itachi and Konan were still acting in a dignified manner. Well...it was hard for the Uchiha since he was partially blind, but he just managed it all the same.

Deidara, Tobi and Zetsu were running around and screaming on the sand, sounding like pigs being butchered, while Kisame watched.

"I highly doubt that's going to attract attention," an amused Kisame pointed out.

"Tobi is a good boy! Sempai said Tobi would get a clay sculpture if Tobi ran around in the sand with him," the self-proclaimed good boy shouted proudly.

"Yeah, exploded on you un," the said Sempai muttered, careful not to let Tobi hear.

"Aww, come on Deidara, that's not nice," Zetsu's white side had overheard him. **"Yeah, imagine if we did that to you,"**his black side poked himself suspiciously. Since when had both sides of Zetsu agreed with themselves?

Deidara either didn't hear, or pretended not to hear as the three of them continued what they had been doing.

Kakuzu was counting his money, as usual, making sure not a single penny had been lost to the ocean. But suddenly..."I'M MISSING FIVE DOLLARS!!" Kakuzu hollered at the top of his lungs.

Everyone previously engaged in activities turned to face him, except Itachi looked the other way.

"Oh come on Kakuzu, its only five dollars," Konan snapped half-way through drying herself.

"Yeah Kakuzu. Besides, it's not like money's gonna help us in this situation un!" Deidara pointed out.

"You know how the lolly cookie is with money." Hidan had turned his attention back to the argument with Pein.

"If it really bothers you that much, I'll steal five bucks for you when we get back," Kisame offered helpfully.

"_When_ we get back," Zetsu repeated. **"Are we ever going to get back?"**

"Of course we are!" Pein snapped, annoyed that his subordinates didn't believe in their leader.

Sasori, who had so far said nothing, sighed. "So hurry up and invent some weird jutsu to take us back. You know I don't like to be kept waiting."

"You?" Hidan asked incredulously. "I've got my cookie sacrifices to Jashin!"

"I need to wash and arrange my hair un! Its filthy! Look at it!" Everyone looked at Deidara, except Itachi looked at Hidan instead. His eyesight was really failing him.

"There's no difference," Sasori pointed out, bewildered like everyone else.

"No difference!?" Deidara shrieked. "LOOK AT IT!" He held his hair up, and finally everyone except for Itachi saw it. The tiniest speck of brown against the blonde. "See it now?" he screeched.

"Deidara, it's just a speck of dirt," Kakuzu said patiently. "It's nowhere near as important as money."

"Nowhere near...?" Deidara howled.

Luckily for the readers, Pein, Konan and Sasori broke them up before they could drag this on for hours, and totally mess the island up.

"So what do we do?" Itachi had finally asked the question everyone was thinking.

"I'm going to invent my 'weird jutsu to take us back', Sasori," Pein shot at him and stomped off, tripping in the sand and cursing. Hidan giggled behind his back, and was ignored by everyone.

Sasori merely shrugged. "Just hurry up."

"SO WHAT DO WE DO?" Deidara yelled in frustration, not at all glad that they had side-tracked from the original purpose.

"Tobi is a good boy. Tobi thinks this is just like vacation," Tobi bounced into their 'meeting' thing.

Everyone except for Zetsu (who actually tolerated Tobi) and Pein (who had gone to invent some weird jutsu) and Kisame(who liked the idea) rolled their eyes.

"Why not guys? Just treat it like a vacation, like Tobi said." Kisame patted Tobi's head fondly.

"Vacation? We have no food, no shelter and no means to get back. You expect us to enjoy ourselves?" Konan said coldly. She was already annoyed at becoming wet, and now had to spend who knows how long with these bunch of idiots.

"Erm...yes?"

"THAT'S IT!" Konan stomped off, in a very similar fashion to Pein. Maybe she was his puppet or something...

"Bye!" Deidara yelled cheerfully, waving at her retreating form.

"So what the pineapple do we do now?" Hidan repeated the question for the third time.

"Sit back and relax."

Huh?

Everyone looked around, wondering who said that. All eyes turned to Kisame first, but he shook his head. Deidara? Nope. The blonde mimicked the action. Kakuzu? No. He was too busy counting money. Tobi? He was currently miles away, hyperactive on seawater. Who would have guessed...?

That only left Zetsu, Sasori, Hidan and Itachi, the unlikeliest people.

"Is it so hard to figure it out? I said it you idiots!"

Eyes turned to Hidan, Zetsu and to Sasori. The puppetmaster rolled his eyes.

"Duh!"

"Did...did you just say 'sit back and relax' Danna un?" A wide-eyed Deidara asked tentatively.

"Do you understand Japanese?"

"We're speaking French," Zetsu whispered frantically into Sasori's ear. **"No...Italian!" **"French!" **"Italian!"**

"Oh...do you understand French...or Italian?"

"I thought we were speaking Portuguese." Tobi popped out of nowhere.

"Spanish," Itachi put in.

"YOU IDIOTS! WE'RE SPEAKING ENGLISH!" Pein's voice roared from somewhere beyond the stage.

"Oh..."

...

The silence was deafening.

"When did we learn how to speak English?"

--

Well, that's chapter four done. Hope you enjoyed it ;

Art is a bang XD


	5. Jutsu gone wrong

Hello It's me again ; I know I updated a day late, but I don't have to update every day, right?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto or Akatsuki or the phrase 'Art is a bang.' You know who they belong to...

**Warning: **Crackish, and a little OOC from Sasori, but its not a big matter...

**Note: **Zetsu's black side is in **bold **and any serious swear words are replaced by random food and also underlined

--

KABOOM!

A sudden noise startled all the Akatsuki members, disrupting the silence that had before been so serene. Automatically, everyone except for Itachi, who looked at Zetsu, looked towards Deidara. The blonde looked horrified. Everyone looked so intimidating, especially Sasori.

"I didn't do it un!" he yelled frantically, correctly assuming that they all suspected him.

"You didn't?" Sasori blinked. That was just about the first time it wasn't Deidara who had caused the explosion.

Deidara shook his head. "No…it came from over there!" He pointed inland, where, sure enough, a large puff of smoke shaped suspiciously like a mushroom was forming.

Itachi waded into the sea, while everyone else hurried to the sound of the disruption. There they found a disgruntled Pein covered in a handful of ash.

"Um…leader…did one of your experiments fail _again?" _Kisame asked tentatively. Last time someone said that, they couldn't walk for a week.

"No," Pein snapped, although it was perfectly true. No Akatsuki leader would want to admit that their experiment had gone off in disaster. "It was supposed to happen."

"Ahh…it was a work of art un!"

"You idiot! Art isn't like that! It's eternal!" came the angry remark from the redhead. There goes the seventy-ninth time this week Deidara and Sasori had argued about art.

"What? I thought we already settled this un! It's-"

"SHUT UP!" Kakuzu yelled, effecting silencing both of them.

The silence stretched…

…and stretched…

…and stretched…

Until… "SOMEONE SHUT THE SHERBERT SILENCE UP!"

--

Two hours later sought the Akatsuki bored, with nothing to do. Deidara hadn't managed to bring any clay with him, and now sat, slouched, on guard duty in a tree. Kakuzu was counting his money for the 429th time today. Kisame and Tobi were using Hidan's head as a football to play various sports, while Hidan's mouth let go a stream of curses. Zetsu was busy befriending the many plants the island had to offer, while apparently under the assumption that they could talk back. Sasori was polishing himself, seeing as he didn't have any puppets to polish anyway. Itachi was still in the ocean, groping around for any source of the explosion two hours ago. Konan was folding paper, as usual and Pein was inventing his gone wrong weird new jutsu.

But finally, everyone was bored. And to make matters worse, their food supply was running out.

"Someone should go catch more fish," Konan complained, folding her 683rd paper crane.

"That would be Itachi." Kisame pointed to him in the water, an amused expression on his face. "But he doesn't seem to be getting anywhere..."

There was a dull thump as Deidara landed in the sand underneath the lookout tree. By now, nobody paid any attention to him since his fake death that had looked so real. The blonde scowled as he took in that fact. "I'm hungry un!" he whinned.

"Oh shut up you pineapple," Hidan's detatched head snarled as it was kicked repetitively.

"Surely you can survive without food for a few days, right?" Sasori asked without even looking up.

"Easy for you to say, lollipop, you don't eat," Hidan's head growled again.

"Nor do you," Sasori said calmly.

"Oh yeah..."

"SO WHAT DO WE DO?" Kakuzu screeched. A sense of Déjà Vu filled the Akatsuki.

The silence was broken by a familiar voice a few metres away.

"Tobi found a coconut."

Everyone's attention, except for Itachi's and Pein's, turned to Tobi, who was happily sucking on a coconut under a coconut tree.

One second passed.

Two seconds passed.

"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!" Most of the members dived at the coconut tree at exactly the same time, screaming their battle cry.

"Ow!"

"Cookie!"

"Geroff me!"

Give me one un!"

After a long and furious battle of the Akatsuki members, which mainly consisted of biting, scratching, tearing, pulling and snarling, everyone lay in a tangled heap underneath the tree.

Calmly, Konan walked up the tree with her chakra, and picked a coconut off lightly. The 'warriors' of the fight, Kakuzu, Deidara, Kisame and Hidan (who still wanted to eat) all lay unconscious.

"Ladies first," Konan said smugly, walking back to her place in the shade.

Then...

"I FOUND THE JUTSU! WE'RE GOING TO GET BACK AFTER ALL!" Yelled a familiar voice.

Everyone unconscious before woke up. And did nothing.

"Duh!" Sasori sighed, bored, walking past the group and heading towards Pein's voice. "Idiots."

Hurriedly, the rest of the group followed, with Kisame having to swim out and drag Itachi back (who had at this point, believe it or not, hypnotised two fish with Tsukiyomi).

Soon enough, everyone arrived to see Pein building some giant statue thingy.

"That's not a jutsu," Itachi said slowly, activating his Sharingan just in case, which, I'm afraid to say, no longer works since he's officially blind. "It looks more like a huge cat..."

"D...don't take it from him, Leader," Kisame said rather hurriedly, not wanting to face the punishment with his partner. They faced the punishment in two's. "You know he's blind."

"I am not blind." Itachi's voice was calm, yet cold with a sense of power. Yet the power was somewhat diminished as he reached across and slapped Kakuzu on the face.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Shut up. You are weak. Why are you weak? Because you lack...cookies. Mhhmmmm...cookies..." Itachi seemed lost in a weird daydream about cookies.

"Uh..." Everyone sweatdropped.

"Back on topic," Sasori interrupted. "Are you sure this is a jutsu to take us back?"

"Yeah un. You should have let me done the sculpting, hmm!"

"It looks like a giant pineapple," Zetsu's white side commented.

"**No! It looks more like a huge horse!"**

"Pineapple!"

"**Horse!"**

"Pineapple!"

"**Horse!"**

"SILENCE!!"

Silence.

"So how does this...jutsu...take us back?" Konan asked tentatively.

"Well you see, this butterfly-"

"It's a sherbet butterfly?" Hidan interrupted.

"Shut up! Do not interrupt me!"

Silence once more.

"Well, _as I was saying before Hidan rudely interrupted me_, this _butterfly_ will come to life in five seconds."

Hidan rolled his eyes.

"Five..." Everyone watched the badly made sculpture tentatively.

"...Four..." Everyone tensed.

"...Three..." Deidara contemplated blowing it up just for fun and to see the look on Pein's face, but decided against it.

"...Two..." Kakuzu considered selling it for money, but, although heavily tempted, also decided against it.

"...One..." Everyone thought about running away now.

"It comes to life...NOW!"

...

Nothing happened.

The silence grew, from seconds to minutes.

Then, everything began at once.

"Well that lollipop sucks!" Hidan screeched at the top of his voice, while various other swear words tumbled out of his mouth.

Itachi blinked. He was sure the statue had moved for a moment, but nobody else seemed to have seen it, so the raven-haired Uchiha dismissed it as either an illusion or nothing.

"Leader!! I am going to kill -cough- I mean..._help_ you with your sculpture next time un!"

"Tobi is a good boy!"

"Shut up Tobi! Leader! We could have sold it for a valuable price on E-bay!" Kakuzu whined. "Not that anyone would buy it," he muttered.

"Kakuzu! I heard that!"

"**That was such a waste of time!"**

"But Leader did well, right?"

"**Of course not!"**

"He did!"

"**Not!"**

"You wasted so much paper doing that!" Konan screeched.

"WHAT THE SWEET BANANNA'S? HOW COULD ONE CANDY JUTSU GO SO CAKE WRONG? I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I'M ICE-CREAM SEEING!"

...

Silence again. It always comes at the best moments. In fact, it was so suspicious that the authoress could've just put it there when she wanted it to be silent.

"Danna...did you say that...un?" Deidara asked fearfully. That was a side Sasori had never, ever shown before.

"Do you understand _English_?" Apparantly, he was still under the assumption that they were speaking Japanese.

"Y...y...yes un..."

"THEN YOU SHOULD SHERBET KNOW WHAT I'M LOLLIPOP TALKING ABOUT!" Sasori shrieked.

By this time, everyone had started, inch by inch, edging away from the puppet master who, by the looks of it, was about to go insane.

--

My longest chapter yet! ; I don't know when I'm going to update next, but it'lll be within the week

Art is a bang XD


	6. The beginning of the battle

Hi, I'm back Please don't expect me to update everyday, because I do have a life...but I'll update soon enough ;

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or Akatsuki or Art is a bang, sadly.

**Warning:** General crack...

**Note: **Hidan's swear words will be replaced with random food and will be underlined. Zetsu's black side will be in **bold**

**--**

The day was fine and sunny. The sea had calmed down considerably since the storm, and the boat swayed gently from side to side. All in all, a perfect day.

Hatake Kakashi yawned, striding out onto the deck, accompanied by a certain raven-haired Uchiha. None other than Uchiha Sasuke. Both of them had big plans for today, but Kakashi couldn't shake off the feeling that today was going to be the worst day in Team 7's life.

"Kakashi. What were you going to teach me again?" The smooth cold voice of the Uchiha broke the sweet silence.

"Well, I was thinking a huge workout with Naruto and Sakura. Then when they go to lunch, I could teach you the Tracking Hound technique. How's that?"

A scowl graced the handsome features. "With Naruto and Sakura? Is that really necessary?"

"I believe so, since I don't think I've worked them hard enough ever since we've been on the vacation."

Silence fell between them once again. It was weird, in a way. Uchiha Sasuke had come back to Konoha, apologizing to the Hokage, his teammates and sensei, and to the whole village. It was sudden, and Kakashi still suspected he was a spy. With what remaining dignity he had, Sasuke had been allowed to go back to Team Seven.

"Kakashi-sensei!" A yell from somewhere high above startled both of them, although only one looked genuinely surprised.

"Naruto? What are you doing up there?" Kakashi smiled back. The blonde haired boy was standing on the top deck, eyes looking towards the horizon of endless waters.

"I see an island! Can we land there and have some ramen? Please please pleeeeease? I haven't stretched my legs in days, Dattebayo!"

"Well...I was thinking of training the ship's gym today since-"

"Oh come oooooon, Kakashi-sensei! We could spare a day or two! It's a _two week _vacation, after all. We'll be fine! Dattebayo!"

Kakashi sighed. He had to put up with one loudmouthed ninja, although he had to admit he genuinely liked Naruto. "Fine, but we still need to get the training done."

"Yeeeeesssssss!" Naruto yelled in triumph. "Sakura-chan! Guess what? We're going to stop on an island! Dattebayo!"

"Really?" Sakura walked up behind Kakashi and Sasuke. "Is Sasuke-kun coming?"

"No." The Uchiha had a sense of coldness around him.

Sakura looked slightly downhearted.

"Oh come on Sasuke, we're going to train there and you'll be missing out," Naruto teased.

"Fine." The word was said with utter loathing.

Now, let's check how our favourite criminal organization is doing.

It was very dull for the Akatsuki, stuck on a bare island with nothing to do. Sasori had finally calmed down, and was no longer in the danger of throwing a tantrum. Deidara was nursing his broken arm, from when Sasori _had_ thrown a tantrum. Hidan's detached head was now floating in the water a mile away from the island, still uttering curses, while his scythe and body lay on the beach. Kakuzu was counting his money _again _for the 1096th time since they've been on the island. Kisame and Itachi were competing. It was a competition about who caught the most fish. So far, the score was 287 to 3, with Kisame in the lead. Tobi was eating coconuts...again, but this time with Konan. Everyone had learnt not to steal 'their' coconuts. Zetsu was making friends with the plants again and Pein was off somewhere far away, developing a jutsu that was now believed, by everyone except him, to never be able to work. Then suddenly...

Hidan's detached head shut up, the shadow of a giant creature lurking behind him. His head turned, with difficulty, and found itself face to face with a boat. "Oi! Pick me up you lollipops! I'm having a little cookie trouble here you sherbet!"

"Did you hear something, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked tentatively, knowing the Uchiha was in a bad mood.

"No."

"I HEAR IT!" yelled Naruto triumphantly, glad that he had finally beaten Sasuke at something. He looked down into the water..."A DETACHED HEAD! STILL TALKING! OMG! DATTEBAYO!"

Kakashi sighed and glanced into the water. "This time, I don't think I _can_ belie- OMG A TALKING HEAD!"

"What?" Sakura rushed to the side of the deck. Seeing Hidan's head, she threw up over the side, and fainted.

"Hn?" Sasuke looked into the water, seeing Hidan's head. Calmly, he grabbed a fishing net and scooped it out of the water.

"You candy cakes!" Hidan shrieked. "Jelly get me out of here!"

-A mile away-

"Konan-san, did you hear something?" Tobi asked innocently. The sound of yelling was floating over to them.

Konan heard it, perhaps more clearly than everyone else save Itachi, but she pretended not to. "Oh, don't worry Tobi, it was just the wind."

"You mean 'it was just Hidan,'" Itachi corrected.

Konan scowled.

"Huh? Hidan? I thought we got rid of him forever now!" Kakuzu looked genuinely disappointed at not being rid of his partner.

_-Back with Team 7-_

"Thank you candy!" Hidan snarled.

"A...talking...head...datte...bayo," Naruto said fearfully.

"It's just a head," an impatient Sasuke explained, knocking Hidan's head with a kunai.

"You pineapple lollipop cookie! What the candy do you think I jelly am?"

"I think we should find the body and reattach it," Sakura put in.

"TO THE ISLAND WE GO THEN! DATTEBAYO!"

_-Two hours later-_

"Is that..." Kisame pointed towards the horizon, where a large distinctive shape was forming.

"...a ship?" Sasori finished, looked equally surprised. He had been sure they would be trapped on this island forever.

"OMG A SHIP!! COME OVER HERE SHIP UN!! HURRY UP! I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE AND DO MY HAIR UN!! IT'S FILTHY!!" Deidara screamed at the top of his lunges, running around in a circle on the sand..._again._

"A...ship...a...ship...a...ship...a...ship...MONEY!" Kakuzu yelled with delight, looking around for the ship he could see for money before realizing they didn't have a ship any more. "Damn...OMG A SHIP!" he yelled, pointing in the direction Kisame was pointing in.

"ITS A SHIP! WE'RE GETTING RESCUED!!" Konan yelped, sprinting off to find Pein.

"What? A ship? Where? I can't see a ship!" Itachi yelled frantically, arms flailing rapily in the water while blind Sharingan eyes looked towards the land.

Tobi blinked, watching as the ship drew closer. "Is that what a ship is, Sempai?" he asked, plucking at Deidara's sleeve.

Deidara made a " expression. "You've been riding on one for the last 10 days before we got to the island you idiot!"

"But...but...I thought I was riding on one of your clay birds. Tobi is a good boy. Tobi was right...right?"

Deidara ignored him, going back to screaming "WE'RE GOING TO BE SAVED!" and running around, and was promtly joined by an enthusiastic Tobi.

_-Back to Team 7 and Hidan's head_

Everyone was crowded around the head, one looking confused, one looking suspicious, one looking excited and one looking plain bored. Match them up if you can. (A/N: Its easy)

"I spy with my little eyes, something the size of that head with silver hair, dattebayo!" Naruto smiled at Hidan.

"My head you dumpling," Hidan snarled.

"Yeah...now its your turn, dattebayo!"

"I spy with my ramen eyes, a coconut blonde hyperactive idiot!"

"Is it...Kakashi-sensei? Dattebayo!"

Hidan sighed. They had been playing this game all morning. He was about to reply 'No you muffin idiot, its you!' but something stopped him.

"THERE ARE PEOPLE ON THE ISLAND!" Sakura shrieked, before fainting once more. Nobody bothered to catch her.

"Is that...ITACHI! I WILL KILL YOU!" Guess who...?

Itachi looked up with another fish in hand. "Sasuke? Is that you?" In his surprise, he dropped the fourth fish he had ever caught in his life. "You idiot Sasuke! You made me drop my fish!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and made a O.o face. Itachi? Catching fish? No way. "I WILL KILL YOU!" he repeated, jumping into the water and rapidly swimming, before realizing that the water was only knee deep.

Naruto's eyes peered onto the island, where, sure enough, a hyperactive blonde idiot was running around in the sand. 'Is that _her?_" he asked Hidan's head, which turned around to look.

"Hmmm...grape close enough...although I was originally thinking of you."

"Oh...Wait...Sasuke! I want to go swimming too! Dattebayo!" Naruto yelled, diving into the water, and hitting his head in the sand. "Ow...HELLO HYPERACTIVE BLONDE GIRL!" he yelled in the general direction of Deidara.

The 'hyperactive blonde girl' stopped in _his_ tracks, looking suspiciously at the boat. "I AM NOT A GIRL...UN!" he yelled at them, before noticing. "OMG IT'S THE JINCHUURIKI!! CATCH HIM!"

But nobody did.

For one, Hidan's head was tied to the mast of the ship. Itachi was busy having a shouting match with Sasuke. Kisame was seizing the chance to catch more fish and beat Itachi. Konan was off somewhere with Pein. Tobi was too stupid to notice anything. Kakuzu was hijacking the boat while no one was noticing. Zetsu was deep in the jungle, talking to the various poisonous plants. And Deidara couldn't be bothered.

So Naruto was saved again...by a bunch of lazy and dumb criminals.

--

There you go, Chapter 6...please R&R...please? Okay...well I hope you enjoyed it -poofs-


	7. The stolen ship

Sorry for the late update, but I was honestly very museless. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the others. And pleease review! It makes me want to update faster ;

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki or the phrase Art is a bang. Masashi Kishimoto and Taro Okamoto own those stuff...

**Warning: **Fake techniques and generally a lot of crack. But I reckon its funny...oh well

**Note: **Zetsu's black side is in **bold** and Hidan's swear words are underlined

--

"CHIDORI!" The infamous lightning blade sparked in Sasuke's hand. Oh this was going to be good! He rushed towards Itachi, left hand trailing behind him.

"RASE- Wait...why are we fighting again?" Naruto asked, about to use the Rasengan. "Hey, can I run on the sand with you? Dattebayo!" He dashed onto the sand and began running around in circles with them, much to Tobi's delight and Deidara's annoyance.

"Foolish little brother," Itachi smirked, but was looking in the completely wrong direction. "You are weak, why are you weak? Because you lack...fish! I shall help you! Bombard-with-fish jutsu!" He started throwing Kisame's fish towards the land, where everyone promptly got bombarded with fish.

"Wrong way Itachi," Kisame whispered, turning him around to face Sasuke.

"Oh...Bombard-with-fish jutsu!" He started throwing the rest of Kisame's fish towards Sasuke.

"AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!" Sasuke yelled as he was bombarded with fish. "ITACHI YOU EVIL GIT! YOU KNOW I'M ALLERGIC TO FISH!" Sasuke screamed as both he and his Chidori were smothered in fish.

"My...fish..." Kisame gasped, crestfallen. The score was now 3 to 0, with Itachi finally in the lead.

POOF!

A giant puff of smoke appeared on a cliff, with Konan and all six bodies of Pein standing there.

"What is going on?" one body of Pein thundered. "I leave for a moment, and then this! Such ignorance. Tobi, Deidara, catch the Jinchuuriki immediately. Itachi, Kisame, stop playing around and kill the Chicken-butt hairdo guy. Hidan, get your head on straight. You and Kakuzu are to take on Hatake Kakashi. Sasori, you're fighting the pink haired girl again. Dismissed!"

"Yes sir!" Everyone in Akatsuki snapped to attention, with Itachi snapping to attention towards the general direction of Sasuke buried under a pile of fish instead. Then, everyone rushed off! It was a hit there and a hit there. Soon, the island was in the midst of a battle, with many individual battles. Okay, maybe not...let's see what _really _happened.

Deidara was chasing after Naruto in a circle, again and again and again. Naruto was chasing Tobi, both of them obviously under the impression that it was a game where they chased each other around in the sand. Itachi was watching idly as Kisame stabbed the lump which was Sasuke with his Samehada again and again. Kakuzu and Kakashi were talking about Icha Icha Paradise, and how Jiraiya did such a good job on those books. Hidan's head was floating in the water a little way away from the land, probably there from swearing too much. And Sasori was asking Sakura politely how she had managed to come up with an antidote. One could hear Sakura explaining enthusiastically a mile away. All in all, not one of Pein and Konan's better days.

"AAAKKKKKKAAAAATTTTSSSSSUUUUUUKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIII!!"

Silence...

"Yes?" Asked Itachi deliberately, breaking the silence.

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE S-RANKED CRIMINALS!!" Pein bellowed at the top of his lunges.

Silence...

"Kakashi-san has promised to bring us back to Konoha if I buy him the newest version of Icha Icha Paradise," Kakuzu said cheerfully. He had never looked so happy to spend money in his entire life.

Everyone looked at the stitched man suspiciously. Since when had Kakuzu agreed to spend money on...well...anything?

"It's a deal!" Pein yelled triumphantly. "We're going to get back after all!"

"Wait un!" Deidara interrupted. "What about the Jinchuuriki?" He pointed to Naruto, who had, at this point, started a game of Tag with an all-too-hyper Tobi.

"Forget that cream, I don't cookie care what sherbet happens as long as I get my coconut prayers to Jashin done,"

"So it's decided," Sasori said calmly. "We're going back via their ship. Wait..where'd the ship go?"

"Ship? Ship? Ship?" Sakura looked around widely for any sign of the ship.

"There it goes," Itachi smirked, pointing inland at a small tree.

"That's a tree, Itachi-san," Kisame whispered into his ear.

"Oh..." He pointed to another tree which happened to be Zetsu. "There it is."

"**Did you just say I'm a...ship?" **Zetsu's black side growled. "Itachi..." His white side tried to be more polite. "Are you sure you don't need to get your eyes checked?"

"No of course not, what gave you that idea?" Itachi snapped.

Deidara stifled a giggle. "So...where's the ship un?"

"OMG THE SHIP'S GONE!" Sasuke gave a most OOC shriek.

"The ship!" Konan howled. "Now we'll never get back and we're...we're stuck with them!" She pointed an intimidating finger towards Naruto.

"Another banana Tobi," Hidan cursed.

"Don't worry; I'll swim out to get it! Dattebayo!" Naruto screamed, jumping into the water and swimming as fast as he could towards the horizon, where the ship was no longer visible. But his swimming wasn't fast enough. Actually, it was more like a dog paddle. Sasuke, stabbed but in good condition, decided he would never lose to Naruto ever again. The Uchiha soon overtook the dog paddling blonde by walking on the water with chakra.

"Stupid brat," Sasuke muttered.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Naruto asked, joining Sasuke, with his clothes now dripping wet.

"Does that mean we wait for them?" Sasori asked randomly.

"HELL NO!" Konan shrieked. "I can't stand one day with...them!" Her shaking finger moved, first to Sakura, then Kakashi, and finally Sasuke and Naruto.

"Can I get this straight?" Kisame demanded angrily to Kakashi. "The ship just floated away? By itself?"

"Erm...yes? No? What am I supposed to say?"

_-Meanwhile on the ship-_

"Ku ku ku suckers!" Orochimaru cackled. "They didn't know we were stowaways for a week! Damn those Konoha brats...although I would love my revenge for what they did to Sasuke-kun. They tainted his heart with darkness!"

"Um...don't you mean _you_ tainted his heart with darkness and _they_ tainted his heart with light?" Kimimaro asked in what he thought was a helpful tone, but was really far from helpful.

"Shut up!" Orochimaru snapped. "I shall have revenge for what they did to my Sasu-"

"Orochimaru-sama, we have spotted Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun. They are in hot pursuit, although I think they might catch up to us in a few years time..." Kabuto interrupted.

"MY SAAASSSSUKKKKKEEEE-KKKKKUUUNNNNN!!" Orochimaru hollered, running out on deck to find that Kabuto had indeed told the truth.

_-To Naruto and Sasuke-_

"We're catching up. Naruto, ready to kick some snake a-"

"SASUKE! CAN WE STOP? I NEED...RAMEN...STOCK UP...NOW," Naruto was panting so hard with a stitch.

"You idiot!" Sasuke screamed. "We're catching up and now you're telling me you want ramen? What did I do to deserve a idiot teammate like you?"

"You mean 'an' idiot teammate Sasuke! Dattebayo! Get it right!"

"Nobody cares about grammar these days!"

"They do too! Just because you don't want to admit you were wrong!"

"Shut up baka!"

"See, I told you! Dattebayo!"

Um...let's leave them with their grammar argument (it's almost as worse as Sasori and Deidara's art argument) and go back to the Akatsuki...

_-At the Akatsuki's deserted island-_

"Soooo Kakuzu-san, are you still going to buy me Icha Icha Paradise?" Kakashi asked innocently.

"NEVER!" Kakuzu yelled. "Sacrifice my precious money, I will not!"

"You sound like Yoda un," Deidara smirked.

"Up shut! I mean...shut up!" Kakuzu snapped back.

"Who's Yoda, sempai?" Tobi asked with an ear-to-ear grin.

Deidara smacked his hand onto his head. What an idiot the masked man could be.

"Does that cream mean we're not getting back? Balloons!" Hidan swore loudly, head now reattached with the rest of himself.

"Akatsuki!" Pein roared. He was beginning to think he didn't get much respect as leader these days.

"Huh? What? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?" Konan was freaking out.

"Calm down Konan, we're going to get out of here. Jinchuuriki and Chicken-butt-hairdo have already gone after the missing ship."

"Are those your new nicknames for them two?" Kisame asked interestedly, sliding in next to them.

"Kisame! Are you running away from our fishing competition? Does that mean I win?" Itachi asked, careful not to make what he thought was eye contact. But he was actually staring right at Sakura.

"No way Itachi-san! You'll never win!" And with that, Kisame hurled himself back into the water, eager to continue their competition.

--

There goes chapter 7 -watches chapter fly by- Please R&R, don't forget it lets me update faster

If you have any ideas, feel free to review them or PM them or something, I'm running out of ideas :(

Well, until chapter 8, see you -poofs-

Art is a bang XD

(It _is_ a bang, you know)


	8. The two 'Green Guys'

Hello, it's me again...I hope I don't need to repeat myself for the disclaimer and warnings because honestly I'm sick of that. And you probably want to get on with th story so...

--

A few hours passed with the Akatsuki, who were getting continually restless. Deidara had finally collapsed on the sand, totally out of energy from running around in circles all day, but Tobi was still going strong. Sasori had given up polishing himself, as there was nowhere on his body that wasn't shining. Itachi and Kisame had stopped their fishing competition, with the score as 51 to 4, Itachi's way. How come, you ask? Well, Itachi had made a deal with Kisame to swap their number of fish, or else he would force Kisame to eat Shark Fin Soup. This, obviously, made Kisame go into a frenzy and started killing Konan, who gave him one hell of a paper cut. So Itachi just assumed that Kisame had agreed to his proposal and won. What a weird way for an Uchiha to win...Anyway, Hidan and Zetsu were just lying around, staring at the sky and both of them looking suspiciously as if they had been possessed by Shikamaru. Kakuzu was counting his money for the 4578th time. And Pein went back to working on the 'Weird Jutsu' which everyone was convinced would never work.

Did I miss anyone? No? Good. Oh wait...Team 7 were supposed to be here as well!

"When are Naruto and Sasuke-kun going to come back," Sakura whinned, head looking towards the horizon for the 429th time in the 5 hours when Sasuke and Naruto had gone missing.

"Patience, Sakura. They'll come back soon enough. The force is with them," Kakashi said, absorbed in the Icha Icha paradise book he had red for the 987th time.

"Why is everyone acting like Star Wars characters now un?" Deidara twitched.

"He's just jealous he banana can't," Hidan sneered.

"Shut up un!" The blonde snapped back.

"Yeah, shut up," Sasori said calmly.

Everyone immediately turned their attention to the puppetmaster, except for Kakashi who was absorbed in his book...again. Sasori _never_ agreed with Deidara. _Never ever._

"What?" Sasori asked, now getting slightly intimidated by the stares, especially Konan's. The paper mistress was in a bad mood ever since she had gotten onto the 'Forbidden Island' as they had decided to call the island.

"You never agree with Deidara," Kisame stared. "Never ever. It's a well known fact!"

"Well, disagreeing isn't going to help the situation," Sasori shot back.

"Finally! Someone sane!" Pein gasped, raising his hands above his head as a half-salute thing. "Thank God-"

"JASHIN!" Hidan screeched.

"Thank _Jashin_ Sasori's still sane," Pein rolled his eyes at the Immortal.

Sasori looked up in surprise. "I'm still sane? I thought Deidara had driven me crazy by now."

Pein began to back away slowly..."Okay, now this is scary..."

"You're the leader, you're not supposed to be scared," Konan snapped.

"Actually..."

"SHUT UP TOBI!" Everyone in Akatsuki roared.

Tobi hung his head.

Then there was silence, broken by...

"OH MY GOD-"

"JASHIN!" Hidan bellowed. Seriously, people ought to respect his God.

"OH MY JASHIN!" Kakashi shrieked.

"What is it, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked, coming to the apparently unneeded rescue.

Kakashi couldn't form words; instead his hand stretched out and pointed towards the horizon, where two figures had appeared.

"Oh look, Foolish Little Brother and Jinchuuriki have come back!" Itachi smirked, pointing towards Kakuzu and Zetsu.

"This is Kakuzu," Kakuzu said boredly.

"This is Zetsu," Zetsu said boredly.

"**Wait...it is?"**

"Of course it is you stupid black side!"

"**I'm not stupid!"**

"Are too!

"**Are no-"**

"QUIET!" Pein roared.

"Oh my Go-"

"JASHIN!"

"Oh my Jashin! It's the two green guys _again!_" Kisame yelped.

"Two green guys?" Itachi asked, perplexed. "I see yellow..." He pointed towards Tobi.

"That's orange, Itachi-san," Tobi smiled helpfully.

"Oh great Itachi, now you're going colour blind as well," Konan smirked.

"Shut up," Sasori repeated. "I said arguing wasn't going to help the situation and it isn't."

Silence.

"So...are we going to meet the two green guys or what?" Kisame asked randomly.

_-Meanwhile at the Horizon-_

"Such a youthful run, isn't it Gai-sensei?"

"Of course it is, Lee! Let us run to the youthful...uh...island thingy!"

"Yesssssssssssssssir!"

The two _green guys_ increased their pace, going 70 miles per hour towards the _island thingy._

_-At The Forbidden Island-_

"They're going to smash right into us un!" Deidara wailed.

"Never fear, Itachi is he-" Itachi tripped over his own feet and slammed headfirst into the water.

Everyone watched with a O.o face.

"Let's go meet them," Pein decided.

"You mean they come and meet us," Kakuzu smirked.

Sure enough, Gai and Lee just about slammed into their Forbidden Island.

"What are you doing trespassing on Akatsuki property?" Pein loomed threateningly above them.

"Such youthful piercings!" Gai remarked.

"Why thank you, I do fancy them myself," Pein said smartly, tapping a piercing.

"Coffee _Ahem!_" Hidan fake coughed loudly.

"Oh yes. What are you doing trespassing on Akatsuki property?" Pein repeated.

"You already said that," Konan whispered into his ear.

"Oh...no matter. So what are you doing?"

"Please don't hurt us!" Lee cried, anime tears streaming down his eyes. "We were just running our youthful run when we unhappily smashed into this youthful island."

"Yes, please trust my faithful youthful pupil Lee," Gai added, doing the famous Nice Guy pose.

"Uh..." Everyone sweatdropped.

"Now Lee, 500 laps into the sunset!" Gai yelled.

"Yesssssssssssir!" Lee hollered, about to take the first step when...

"It's sunrise."

Both Gai and Lee fell anime-style.

"Kakashi!" Gai declared dramatically. "I did not see you there, my youthful rival. How are the times?"

"Bad as usual," Kakashi replied boredly. "You see, we're stuck on this island with the infamous Akatsuki while waiting for Sasuke and Naruto to come back.

"I see...well let us wait youthfully with you!" Gai announced triumphantly. "After all, it would befit my title as your eternal rival!"

"Yeah yeah..."

_-Meanwhile, with Naruto and Sasuke-_

"More wine, Sasuke-sama?" Kabuto asked generously, pouring another glass.

"No -hic- thanks. That's -hic- enough." Sasuke drunkenly replied.

"More ramen, Jinchuur- I mean Naruto-kun?" Kimimaro offered.

"Yup, I need to stock up! Dattebayo!" Came the enthusiastic reply.

Meanwhile, in the next room, Orochimaru was bashing his head against the brick wall with Sakon and Ukon.

"Why did I let you talk me into this?" Orochimaru was saying.

"Because I promised to steal Itachi's nail polish for you, remember?" Sakon replied dully.

"Oh yeah...that Itachi will never defeat me! Never!"

Sakon sweat dropped.

_-Back to the Forbidden Island-_

"SAKURA-SAN!" Lee yelled joyfully, sprinting to where Sakura was hiding behind Zetsu, trying not to be noticed. She must have been desperate to hide, because Zetsu usually ate people who came too close. Today, however, he was sleeping.

"Oh no, WHY DO YOU HAVE SUCH GOOD EYESIGHT LEE-SAN?" Sakura shrieked.

"My eyes are so youthful Sakura-san."

"They're not, Lee-san."

"Of course they are, Sakura-san."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"QUIET!" Why is it always Pein who says this?

Silence.

"Great, now we're stuck with more idiots un," Deidara muttered.

--

Yup yup, chapter 8 done I'm not sure if the nexxt chapter's going to be the last one, but please review to tell me if you want it to end or not...Please? -puppy eyes-

And apart from that, have a nice day -poofs-

Art is a bang XD


	9. The Departure

**A/N: **Sorry about the late update, I was wondering whether or not to end it...Well, hopefully this makes up for it. Behold: my longest chapter yet! XD

Guess what, yeah? This is...-drumroll-...Teh Last Chapter! -cries- Thanks to everyone who stuck with this story, and thanks x2 to everyone who reviewed! _Nani-chan; Flame05; Originalatorian; xXSilentPuppetMasterXx; devotedtodreams _and_ Mushiku_! You guys rock! And you all get virtual cookies and cream! Especially _devotedtodreams_, you get a lifetime of cookies and cream!

**Warnings: **Cruelty to Non-Akatsuki's and Kisame

**Note: **Same as other chapters, blaa blaa blaa sheep blaa

**Disclaimer: **This is the last time I say the disclaimer -sniff- I do not own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does...I'll try and buy it sometime soon

* * *

BANG!!

Everyone sprung up. Was it another one of Pein's never-going-to-work jutsu's? It looked like it.

"Um...I think Sasori no Danna should stay away this time un..." Deidara whispered to Kakuzu, eyes darting towards the redhead.

The Sasori in question had already rushed off, and probably was going to throw another tantrum if the jutsu didn't work. He was followed by a very impatient Konan.

"You're out of luck, Deidara. He's gone already. Although you always have money that I could stea- I mean, borrow." Kakuzu winked and hurried off, dragging away Hidan who let out a loud stream of curses. Again.

Deidara sweat dropped, but was pulled along by Tobi, who was surprisingly strong enough to pull along Zetsu as well. And of course there was the duo that was never going to be left out of anything. Kisame had blindfolded Itachi and was urging the Uchiha towards the source of the noise. Not that Itachi could see anything _without_ the blindfold on.

The Non-Akatsuki's blinked, never having seen Pein's remarkable new jutsu before.

"We shall accompany the Akatsuki youthfully, Lee," Gai did his signature 'Nice Guy' pose.

"Yosh! If I do not follow the Akatsuki, I shall do five hundred laps around the island!"

"Let's just go, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura sweat dropped and pulled her sensei along, who was absorbed in the newest version of Icha Icha Paradise.

_-With Orochimaru, Naruto and Sasuke-_

"Are you going to give back the boat, Orochimaru?" Sasuke asked rudely.

"Why of course, Sasssssssuke-kkkkuuunnn...if you give me...Itachi's nail polish!"

Both Sakon and Sasuke twitched. "I'm already doing that," Sakon pointed out.

"And I'm _not_ doing that," Sasuke added.

"Orochimaru-sama, I'll do it if you li-." Kabuto never got a chance to finish.

"Very well, Sasssssuke-kuuuun. If you do not steal Itachi's nail polish, how about...that blond guy's shampoo? What was his name again? I forgot..."

"Me?" Naruto asked, pointing to his blond hair.

"No! Not you! The other guy..."

"I think it was something like...Deicarta?" Tayuya whispered to Jiroubou.

"No! It was Deisapa," he hissed back.

Kimimaro coughed, but nobody paid attention to him.

"I'm sure it was Derair or something," Sakon thought out loud.

"Stupid! It's Deriar!" Ukon rolled his eyes.

"Oh I know that guy! Ino-ttebayo!"

"Baka! Ino's that girl in Shikamaru and Chouji's group!"

"But...they look so alike-ttebayo! Besides, I'm not a baka, Teme!"

"IT'S DEIDARA!" Kimimaro screamed.

"No it's not," Sakon countered. "I still think it's Derair."

"It was Deriar!"

"Why do I have a feeling Kimimaro's right?" Kabuto asked himself.

"He's never right!" Orochimaru yelled.

"Deicata!"

"Deisapa!"

_-At the Forbidden Island-_

Deidara sneezed all over Zetsu, causing the latter to close his flytrap.

"A cold, brat?" Sasori sneered, looking downright creepy.

"N...no un...someone's talking about me, hmm," Deidara replied, backing away rapidly from the poisonous stare.

The Sound 5's conversation drifted over to him.

. . .

"IT'S DEIDARA YOU IDIOTS!"

_-With Orochimaru and Friends-_

"Oh..."

Awkward Silence.

"OH MY GO-"

"JASHIN!" came a yell a long way off from You-know-who.** (1)**

"OH MY JASHIN! KIMIMARO'S ACTUALLY RIGHT FOR ONCE!" Orochimaru looked ready to tear out his hair.

Everyone else except Kabuto sweat dropped. Maybe they should think about having a new leader.

"O...Orochimaru-sama...You should get on to what you were saying before..."

"Oh yes, of course. Sassssuke-kuuuuun, if you will not steal Itachi's nail polish, then how about Dei...Dei...Dei-what's-his-name's shampoo?"

"Deidara," Kimimaro whispered.

Oh yes, go and steal Deidara's shampoo," Orochimaru amended.

Sasuke and Naruto had a O.o face.

"We'd never do that! He's my fath-"

"He's your father?" Sasuke looked shocked.

"No! What I was about to say, _teme_, was that he's my father's friend! Dattebayo!"

Orochimaru sighed. "No more cookies for me..."

"We should be heading back now. Thanks for your...hospitality," Sasuke spat out the last word, before dragging a flailing Naruto across the ocean.

Kimimaro blinked. "Well, at least I'm trustable now..."

"You'll never be trusted," Tayuya sneered.

A certain Kaguya, no wait, the _only_ Kaguya, broke down, crying.

_-Back at the Forbidden Island-_

"Everyone. I present to you...my new juts-"

"WAIT!" Lee shrieked.

"Oh cherry please, you don't have a _Youth Initi-_cookie-_ation Ceremony_, do you?" Hidan snarled.

"We don't...but that is a good idea Hidan-san!" Tobi yelled joyfully. Apparently, he had been accepted as the newest 'Youth Club Where You Must Wear Green Spandex Suits' member.

"It is, Tobi!" Gai had anime tears in his eyes. "I shall put it in the rules right away." And he did, right next to the 422nd rule about how everyone had to wear coconuts on their head for a week before being accepted. "Hidan-san, I thank you for thinking so much for our club."

"Uh..." Hidan sweat dropped.

"Get on with it! What were you going to say?" Kisame said roughly, letting go of Itachi, who panicked and ran into another tree. A solid _thump_ followed, and the smoke cleared to reveal the Uchiha lying under a dozen coconuts. Everyone but Kisame ignored him, while the fish- I mean Akatsuki member went to pick up his unconscious partner.

"Well, Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun are back," Lee pointed to the horizon, where a pissed off Sasuke was dragging a sleeping Naruto across the water, the latter mumbling something about Ramen and how Sasuke needed a haircut.

"NARUTO YOU BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU FALL ASLEEP AT A TIME LIKE THIS!" Sasuke roared, slapping the sleeping blond.

"Urgh...ramen...uh...Sasuke...is that you? You need a haircut...I mean..."

"WHAT?"

"Oi!" Kakuzu nudged Sasori. "Do you reckon it's his time of the month?"

Sasuke, by chance, heard that. "I'M NOT A GIRL YOU COOKIES!"

Hidan chuckled. "Looks like I'm not the only one who uses cream dirty language."

"That's why the authoress censored it," Sasori muttered. **(A/N: Mind reader)**

"Are we going to get onto my jutsu or what?" Pein asked slowly, Rinnegan looking more threatening than ever.

"Um...yes...of course," Zetsu said quickly. Sasuke and the half-awake and half-asleep Naruto joined their circle.

Slowly, bit by bit, Pein held up...

Up...

Up...

"GET ON WITH IT!" Kakuzu yelled.

"Okay."

Up...

A pair of wings! Except, what was wrong with those wings, was that they looked like they belonged to a five year old kid.

Everyone fell anime style, even Konan who was trying her best to stay upright. She almost made it. But she still fell.

"Whaaaaaat?" Pein yelled in indignation, staring at the fallen members.

Deidara was the first to recover. "Th...they...they..." He doubled over, laughing like hell as everyone else recovered.

"What the jelly?" Hidan roared, clutching his stomach and rolling around on the floor, hysterical.

"L...leader...how much did those...cost?" howled Kakuzu, reaching for money just in case his heart failed. Money would always help him out of a bad situation.

"I...think...you were better off sticking to...statues," Sasori giggled, clutching a palm tree for support.

"**That was so...crap..." **Zetsu admitted. "This time, even I have to agree with you," his white side nodded.

"Leader-sama...all I have to say is: What. The. Hell." Kisame screeched.

Team 7 gaped in horror at the sight. _The leader of Akatsuki_ was holding up a pair of _fairy wings._

"SO YOUTHFUL!" Lee shrieked, running around in a circle around Pein.

"I agree, Lee!" Gai had anime tears again

"It'll work," Pein still stuck to his story eagerly. "Look!" With that, he stuck the fairy wings on his back. They hovered for a moment, and then exploded.

"Deidara!" Sasori looked warningly towards his partner, who shifted his eyes to Kisame.

"It wasn't me un!" the blond protested.

Pein emerged, coughing, out from the smoke. "I'm never trying that again."

Konan blinked. "I can't believe, the Akatsuki of all people, were so stupid!" she announced.

Everyone blinked.

"Deidara. Do you have any clay left?"

Deidara looked inside his clay pouch and scooped out a small pile of clay. "I've got enough for one clay bird un. I must've spent the rest trying to blast Tobi..." he muttered.

"That'll be good enough. Hurry and make the bird."

Everyone blinked again as Deidara's hand-mouths chewed furiously, and the bird was finished within seconds.

"In my whole life of knowing him, I've never seen him make a bird so quickly," Sasori nodded to Hidan. "He must be really eager to get off the island."

"Of course I am un!" Deidara yelled enthusiastically, clay bird made and enlarged. "My hair is filthy!" The clay artist had kept his hair as well as he could, so only a few specks of dirt were on it. But the pyromaniac considered them as dirty as could be. Okay, maybe Tobi's was dirtier. But so what? They were still dirty...maybe...ish...

"Okay, everyone climb onto the clay bird," Konan instructed, herding everyone on. Akatsuki or not, they were going to get out of here.

Ten minutes later, squished and uncomfortable but happy, everyone was on, with Deidara sitting on the head and Konan flying on her own pair of wings. Pein was still under the assumption that his Fairy Wings would work and insisted on wearing them until Kakuzu went on a temper rampage and ripped them off.

Deidara's clay bird flapped...and flapped...and flapped...but no matter what it wouldn't get off from the ground. "There's too many people un!" the blond protested.

"Just make the Non-Akatsuki's get off," Itachi pointed out helpfully.

"GET CHOCOLATE OFF," Hidan screeched, herding them off again.

"Well damn...just when I thought I would get out of here," Kakashi mumbled.

"Well, it _is_ their clay bird," Sakura pointed out reasonably.

"You mean it's Ino's clay bird-ttebayo," Naruto grinned.

"BAKA! He's not Ino!" Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Wasn't he Deiralo or something?" Gai asked.

"DEIDARA!" came a yell from the head of the bird.

"We should set off." The cool, calm voice obviously belonged to Sasori.

"**Yeah, let's go."**

The clay bird flapped, sending dust everywhere. It flapped...and flapped...and flapped...

"It's still too heavy un!" Deidara complained. "We need one more person to get off!"

"Who?" asked Kakuzu. He had decided to bring his money along.

"Your chicken money!" Hidan grabbed the suitcases and threw them into the ocean.

"MY MONEY!" Kakuzu screamed. He would have dived in if Kisame hadn't restrained him.

"It's still too heavy," Deidara put in. Kakuzu swore and pouted but nobody paid attention. "We should get Tobi off un."

"Tobi is a good boy. Tobi will stay here and get home with Senpai!" Tobi shouted from the very tail of the bird. It was obvious Deidara hoped he would fall off half-way through the flight.

"Tobi is staying here," Zetsu said firmly.

"**Why don't you get off, Deidara?"**

"Because I'm controlling the bird you idiot, hmm!"

"**Oh yeah...well what about Hidan?"**

"Religious bastard, but we need him," Pein said.

"Who's the bastard you lollipop?" Hidan's eyes screamed 'furious-immortal-Jashinist-about-to-slaughter-everything-in-sight.' "Why don't we throw you off?"

"I'm Leader," Pein said matter-of-factly.

"Itachi can go off then un." It was also obvious the blonde wanted Itachi off almost as much as he wanted Tobi.

"No! Itachi-san is staying!" Kisame screamed, while Itachi nodded in Lee's direction.

"Kisame can get off!" Sasori said triumphantly. "He can swim back to the Hideout if he doesn't die first!"

"Good idea," Pein agreed heartily. "Kisame. Off. Now."

Kisame screamed and yelled and pouted and cried but nobody paid attention to him. _Plop_ he went into the ocean.

"_Now_ let's take off un," Deidara yelled, and the clay bird soared into the sunset...I mean sunrise.

Behind them, Kisame cursed loudly.

"Damn you Sasori..."

* * *

**(1)** Note: You-Know-Who is NOT Voldemort

So...how was that? Good? Bad? Weird? Whatever. You tell me in the review (That's another word for Please Review!)

I can't believe this is the last chapter...-breaks down crying- Thanks again for everyone who stuck with this story, read this without showing any sign you've read it -sniff- or if you're going to read it! And x2 if you reviewed! Don't forget the virtual cookies and cream!

But Aha! Don't worry, there will be an epilogue! But the adventures of the Akatsuki on a deserted island, as well as Team 7 and The two 'Green Guys' are over. -sob- Be sure to check out my other stories too

**PLEASE REVIEW! **See, now I'm begging you. For the sake of Akatsuki?

This is the (second) last time I'm going to say this, but:

Have a nice day

Art is a bang XD


	10. Epilogue

**A/N: **Here's the promised epilogue I hope you enjoy it because it's the last chapter of the story...-cries- Thanks again for everyone who stuck with the story so long!

**Disclaimer: **I've tried and I've tried but I've never got Naruto -sigh-

* * *

The door creaked open, spreading light into the dim hideout and illuminating the otherwise dark and eerie space. But it was brief, and soon the door slammed, shutting the light outside and bathing everything inside the room in complete darkness. Okay, almost complete darkness.

"We're back! Finally!" cried a joyful Deidara as he slumped onto the couch.

"Well, Kisame started it and we dumped him so I guess it's not so bad," Sasori muttered, grabbing some pledge wipes and hauling himself upstairs.

"Pizza Kisame. Why did he have to drag us on such a vanilla trip?" Hidan locked himself in his sacrificial chamber.

Itachi and Kakuzu were both in the corners, one cutting himself and one crying.

"Kisame...Kisame...Kisame..." Itachi looked mad, raising a kunai again and again to cut his own wrist.

"Money...money...money," Kakuzu was crying, huddled in a corner where nobody paid the slightest attention to him. Everyone was just glad to be back.

Zetsu immediately hurried into his greenhouse, convincing himself (which was very hard) that all his plants had died aleady.

"Looks like Itachi is officially emo," Konan smirked, going into a private shower in her room. She couldn't care less about the Uchiha mass murderer.

Pein and his other 5 bodies each dragged themselves into their respective rooms. That's right. The Leader of Akatsuki had 6 rooms all the himselves.

And so the Akatsuki came back, safe and sound. Except for Kisame, but nobody but Itachi cared about him.

Wait...where was Tobi?

"We are the three green guys, running around.

We are the three green guys, laughing about.

We are the three, green, guuuuuyyyyyysssss!!"

Round and round a fire they danced, singing in a drunken way. Lee, Gai and Tobi! O.o Yeah, I know, but he _had_ officially joined the 'Youth Club where you must Wear Green Spandex Suits.'

But in the end, everyone got off the island, safe and sound. Team 7 built a giant statue, much better than Pein's, and were eventually rescued by Tsunade and some Konoha ANBU. Tobi is now officially a Genin of Konoha.

As for Kisame?

_-A week later-_

A knock.

"I'll get it," Konan sighed, grabbing a comb and opening the door. –Psyco music plays-

The comb dropped from her grasp. Everyone else peered from behind her.

There stood...KISAME!

"WHAT? I thought we finally got ice-cream rid of you," Hidan stomped upstairs back into his sacrificial chamber.

"KISAME!" Itachi dragged him inside, then walked off like his usual self as if nothing had happened. Everyone stared after him.

"Kisame no Danna, how did you come back, un?" Deidar asked, sitting back down on a couch where a clay sculpture of a bird lay.

"Did you bring money?" Kakuzu asked, looking up hopefully.

"Kisame? What happened to Tobi?" Zetsu asked hurriedly.

"**Did you eat him?"**

Kisame took a deep breath. "Zetsu, no I did not eat him. I have no idea what happened to Tobi but last I saw him he was in Konoha wearing a forehead protector on his mask. No, I did not bring money Kakuzu. As for how I got off the island, Deidara, I rode on a shark which brought me back. Happy now?"

"No." Deidara pouted but didn't continue.

"We should get back to plans for ruling the world," Konan objected.

"Yes, we should do that. Everyone, TO THE PLANNING TABLE! " Pein yelled.

Everyone went obediently, leaving no trace of what they had been through.

And thus ended the adventure of the Akatsuki.

* * *

**A/N: **PWEESE REVIEW! And if you like this story, you might want to check out my other ones

Have a nice day :) And say bye to the story -story poofs-


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